Prologue
In a Beirut neighbourhood, on the intersection of Hope Street and Colonel Street, a pocket of space contains three buildings: Petunia, Karam and Daoud. In their apartments, roofs, backyards, terraces, balconies, basements, stairs, elevators, utility rooms and abandoned furnaces, between February 2013 and February 2014, 32 cats of the same lineage saw the light. By the end of this period, seventeen had died, two had lost an eye, another had lost two legs, another his personality, three had been tortured, one had eaten hallucinogenic mushrooms, still another choice caviar, four had been devoured, another had brought a theatre actress to the brink of ecstasy, while the last had committed suicide after long months of struggle with depression.
The first meeting between our main culprit and one neighbourhood resident occurred in Apartment 2B of the Petunia building.
Petunia building, apartment 2B
As George opens his door, holding the pink smartphone cover he bought for Sana to celebrate Valentine’s Day, he turns his head – he has an acute sense of hearing – towards a sound coming from the living room.
He turns on the light, scrutinizes the corners of the room, but sees nothing. He walks towards the blue curtains, lifts them, then turns around towards another noise, one emanating from under the big leather couch. A black-and-white cat dashes out and runs towards the kitchen balcony… then, from the balcony, jumps unto the mural cornice… and then inside the building, through a small window leading to the stairs.
George’s eyes follow the cat until it disappears... He then bursts out laughing and keeps on smiling for the rest of the night.
The next day, after a romantic dinner, he comes back home with Sana and heads directly towards the couch; but before he even reaches the room, the cat is already on the balcony.
Sana, already in the bedroom, hasn’t noticed a thing.
The third day, before going to work, George opens a can of tuna and leaves it on the floor in the kitchen. That same night when he comes back, he sees that the tuna has disappeared. The cat is standing there, a meter away, but as soon as George stretches his hand to stroke it, the cat, with its feline reflexes, vanishes.
On the fourth night, the cat allows George to pet it. Smiling happily, George names it Tom. Three days later, Tom meets Sana, who came to spend the night at her fiancé’s house. The young woman instantly expresses her disgust:
“There’s a street cat in your house!”
George explains there’s nothing odd about it, that he’s quite familiar with the situation, and that the cat is really friendly. However, this falls on deaf ears. Sana threatens to leave unless the cat, a potential hotbed of parasites, is expelled. An embarrassed George acquiesces, opens the balcony door, and puts the cat’s tuna dinner outside, before shutting it the moment Tom is out.
“And by the way, it’s a female.”
“Oh? You’re sure?”
“Yeah, I know a few things about those pests.”
George turns his head towards the balcony, thoughtfully.
“Would you have any ideas for female cat names?”
“Nope. I’ll let you mull it over. I’ll be in the bedroom.”
Frowning, George leans his forehead against the glass door. The cat comes closer. George kneels, so he’s on eye-level with the cat, and they stare at each other through the glass door.
“Ticky! I’ll call you Ticky!”
He fearfully looks behind his shoulders, then opens the door to give one quick and furtive caress.
A week later, George hurriedly heads to the kitchen for his daily meet-up with Ticky and finds her with a wounded forehead. He panics and calls a veterinarian friend to inquire about the right thing to do. He tries to keep Ticky still, but the cat vanishes with feline speed, only to return ten days later.
Petunia building, apartment 5B
Mona’s first reaction upon seeing a black and white street cat, with a star-shaped mark on its forehead, browsing through the living room trashcan is to scream and lunge at it, brandishing the nearest frying pan as a weapon. The cat, with its feline reflexes, vanishes after jumping on the mural cornice, then inside the building through a small window leading to the stairs. Mona is left on her own, stewing in rage, still holding the frying pan.
When her husband returns in the evening, she’s still nagging about the damn cat that had the audacity to soil her house and disrupt her routine. Nabil looks at her empathically and promises to deal with that pesky cat if it ever comes back.
Three days later, Mona surprises the intruder again, this time feasting on fish remains. Livid upon seeing the state of the floor, she runs towards the cat, screaming, but the it vanishes. That night, Mona updates husband, who gravely shakes his head in sympathy.
When the unwelcome guest shows up again, it finds a meal of exquisite poultry liver at the kitchen door, and approaches it without paying heed to the bait under the wooden box decked out with nails and shards, and held in balance with a big tin can. Mona, standing guard, pulls the rope attached to the can, but her movement isn’t precise enough and the can rolls just a little instead of being pulled out immediately, thus limiting the fall of the wooden box to a few centimeters – just enough to hurt our cat’s forehead, but without causing further damage – and not enough to imprison it.
With great speed, the cat leaves apartment 5B of the Petunia building for the last time.
Petunia building, apartment 7A
On the 18th of February, Tarek finally returns home. As soon as he puts his suitcase down, he shivers. He frowns and heads straight to the living room and stares at the open glass door leading to the balcony. He walks to it and closes it. He then turns his head towards a sound behind him. Coming out from under the green couch, a black-and-white cat, with a star-shaped mark on its forehead, is staring at him… and at the now-blocked exit to the balcony.
Tarek makes a slight move, but the cat, with its feline reflexes, lunges towards the entrance door, which was left open, and disappears down the stairs.
Tarek bursts out laughing and keeps on smiling for the rest of the night.
As soon as he wakes up the next day, he opens a tuna can and places it on the balcony floor. That afternoon, the cat makes an appearance. Tarek approaches it carefully and the cat allows the young man to stroke him.
The two mammals instantly connect, and the cat’s visits become regular. A few days later, during one of their daily encounters, Tarek turns towards the cat and, with a big smile on his face, asks:
“Hey big guy, cat’s up?”
The cat answers with a meow, and Tarek’s smile widens.
“Yeah, you know cat is up in the hood. Haha… Cat’s up… Katsup!”
The cat meows then blinks.
“Yeah, that’s it! Katsup!”
Katsup, by then probably bored with the conversation, attacks his food bowl.
One day, the animal shows up with a wound on his forehead. When Tarek sees that, he frowns and worriedly calls a veterinarian friend for advice. After describing the predicament, he decides to leave it be and wait for time to run its course.
From then on, Katsup makes a habit of dropping by more frequently, sometimes even sitting on the couch next to Tarek, who lets him wholeheartedly, even during his video chats with the beautiful Adeline.
“Oh, I miss you so much… I’d do anything to be with you right now… I’d do anything just to lay my hand on your tummy to feel the kicks…”
“Soon my love, soon. But is that… Is that a cat behind you?”
“It’s a street cat who drops by from time to time. I present to you: Katsup!”
“He looks sweet. He’s a cutie.”
“I agree.”
A few days later, Tarek is packing his suitcase. He throws a few worried glances at the glass door. And, from time to time, goes out and calls “Katsup! Katsup!”, then comes back to his luggage, scratching his head, then looking out again.
Suddenly, his face lights up and he dials a number on his mobile phone:
“Mark? What’s up? Busy? Listen, you told me your shrink lives next door to my place, right? Awesome! Hear me out: there’s this cat who visits me every now and then, and I feed him… I’m leaving today for Paris to spend two weeks with Adeline… So, I’m just checking if you could show up every few days – according to your shrink appointments, of course – and put some crackers? … Yeah, he comes in through the balcony; I’ll leave the door ajar… Yeah, on the seventh floor, it’s crazy, right? … All right, brilliant, thanks a bunch, buddy. I’ll leave a set of keys for you with the janitor. Take care!”
Tarek hangs up and sees Katsup next to his empty bowl, looking up at him. The young man smiles:
“You’re in good hands now.”
Petunia building, apartment 2B
After a ten-day absence, Ticky decides to pay George a visit, and George believes this warrants opening the can of choice pâté that he bought for this special occasion.
“Hey, Ticky… We need to talk… Sana’s moving in pretty soon and she’s not a big fan of you, you know that… So, you need to raise your game, don’t mess things up, don’t tear stuff, don’t shed too much… You know, that sort of thing…”
Ticky allows himself to be petted, despite being a little tense.
“What do you know… Are you gaining weight? Looks like you’re being well-fed… Looks like you’re having lunch in every apartment in this building.”
A few days later, a horrified Sana explains, screaming, the reason behind Ticky’s physical transformation:
“Pregnant! It’s pregnant!! You kick it out right this instant, George! There’s no way it’s shitting us a litter in the closet! It’s either me or that cat, George, I’m warning you, me or that!”
George tries to negotiate, reason, beg… but Sana remains hysterically inflexible.
On Tuesday, the 28th of February, at 8pm, Ticky lands on George’s balcony and finds her bowl empty and the glass door closed. She meows and scratches the door persistently. George appears and walks to the glass door.
“Ticky… my little Ticky… I… I don’t know what to say… I’m sorry… I would’ve loved to keep you both… But she completely flipped out and you have to understand she brings me a lot… She’s a pain in the ass, true… But if she leaves me, I’ll be alone… So alone…”
Ticky keeps on meowing and scratching the door. George stands up and punches the wall. The cat is startled. But soon enough returns to her meowing and scratching at the base of the glass door. George leaves the room.
When he comes back half an hour later, Ticky hasn’t moved and is staring at him through the glass door. George looks back and shakes his head apologetically. Ticky continues to stare at George, who is the first to blink. Ticky proudly turns away and stealthily heads down the cornice through the window and to the stairs.
Petunia building, apartment 7A
When Tarek opens the door of his apartment after a two-week absence, he puts his suitcase on the floor and hurriedly heads towards the balcony, looking around and calling: “Katsup! Katsup!”
But no cat answers his call. Tarek, disappointed, returns to unpack his luggage.
A few days later, on the 21st of February at 9pm, Katsup finally reappears.
“Hey, lil’ cat! Happy to see you! Sorry for not keeping my promise, but I gave the wrong keys to the janitor! Ha, what an appetite you have… You must have starved in my absence… You look like you’ve gained some weight, though… Anyway, listen, my place is your place, you can hang around as much as you like! After all, one of your kind will definitely not interrupt my routine.”