In the following days, Tarek glances frequently at Katsup’s round belly, often hesitating before opening a new can of cat food. One evening, as he’s discussing the cat’s unusual weight gain over the phone, he suddenly falls silent.
“Well… yeah… I’m almost certain he’s male.”
After a brief pause, he adds:
“No… No, I’ve never seen his balls. You’re right, maybe it is a pregnant female.”
He hangs up, agitated, suddenly stands up and walks over to the other couch where Katsup is sleeping peacefully. Conscientiously, he starts examining the animal to determine its gender, despite its uncooperative position.
“Katsup… Um… How can I put this…? Can I see your… your… private parts?”
Katsup looks at him while he tries to lift one of his/her legs. After a number of failed attempts, the cat grows annoyed and jumps off the couch. Tarek follows him/her purposefully, on all fours. Then, after a few minutes of this slow-motion chase, as Katsup settles in another spot, Tarek manages to see her crotch.
“You’re a female… I’m screwed.”
“Meow.”
And she goes back to sleep.
__________
“Is it because she’s pregnant that she sleeps all the time?”
“No, I think it’s normal for cats.”
For a whole week, Tarek’s conversation revolves mostly around the duration of a cat’s sleep.
“I can’t understand how they evolved with all the time they spend sleeping!”
“Exactly,” Mark replies. “Now that they’ve survived evolution, they’re enjoying a well-deserved rest.”
__________
“Did you know cats also discipline their kittens by swatting them?”
“Well, my parents never hit me under any circumstances!”
“Come on, you know what I mean! And besides, if your father knew about your numerous lovers, isn’t there a chance he will?”
Leyla chuckles. “Well, maybe not my father, but definitely my uncle, and my grandfather too. And all the cousins. You’re not totally wrong.”
As they continue their conversation, the doorbell rings. Tarek frowns.
“I usually never open when I’m not expecting someone, but with you here, it might feel awkward.”
When he opens the door, Anne, the French neighbour, is standing in front of him, with a perplexed expression. One meter behind her, a blue-eyed young man in old clothes appears to be waiting. Anne apologizes for bothering Tarek, then explains that she needs help. The man is a Syrian refugee who followed her on the street and asked her to marry him, hoping for a chance to have a better life. Taken aback, Tarek invites Anne to come inside and explains to the Syrian man that she’s already married. The man acknowledges this information and requests that Tarek ask Anne if she has a sister.
__________
The sixth and last floor of the Karam building, adjacent to the Petunia building, is home to a family of four: Mansoor, his wife Samar, and their two children, Noor and Miled. The day after Valentine’s Day, while her father is enjoying a six-egg omelet for breakfast, ten-year-old Noor sneaks up to him and whispers in his ear that her mother is upset because she didn’t receive a present for Valentine’s Day.
Mansoor’s eyes widen. “Valentine’s Day? Why? Since when?”
“It’s the day for lovers.”
“I know, I saw that bullshit on TV. Leave that trivia to the Westerners and let me finish my breakfast.”
Their conversation is interrupted by insistent barking coming from the roof.
“Blackie is barking much more lately,” Samar says as she enters the kitchen.
“There’s a street cat that often passes by.”
“A street cat on the roof?”
“Yes, I saw it. I have no idea why it’s here.”
A few days later, Miled, who’s eleven, reveals to the family that he saw the black-and-white cat (with a star-shaped mark on its forehead) climbing the wire netting separating their building’s roof from the neighbour’s balcony.
“Is it the neighbour’s cat?”
But no one has a clue, so Samar promises to investigate and soon discovers a crucial piece of information: the neighbour frequently buys cat food. And thus, the neighbour, with his curly hair and Western habits, becomes the main topic of the family’s conversations for a few days.
“I asked Mona about him; he’s been living here for over a year, and yet no one knows any details about his personal life, not even his occupation.”
“He looks gay. Do you think he’s gay?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“Screw the West and their debauchery.”
Samar takes it upon herself to gather information, from her gossiping circle, about the neighbour’s whereabouts. When she returns, she shares a surprising piece of news, her voice tinted with shock.
“It seems he’s not gay after all. He has a wife and a baby! And it appears she’s not even his wife. She’s French and they’re not married!”
“Screw the West and their debauchery.”
“Warf, warf, warf”
“And screw that damn cat.”
__________
Then, on the morning of the third day, Katsup returns, emaciated, covered in dirt, with her head held low. She enters, then retreats to her usual corner, showing no interest in eating. Forlorn, Tarek grabs his phone and promptly orders a tin of premium pâté.
“Isn’t it incredible, this Beirut thing, being able to order anything at any time? We don’t have that luxury in France! And why do you have that smile when I say that, it’s not a national pride either!”
When the pâté arrives, Tarek opens the tin, and Katsup suddenly raises one eyebrow first, then the other, sniffing the air around her head, then leaps to her paws.
“Merowowowow!” she vocalizes with urgency.
“Yes, yes, Katsup, I know. It’s all for you. But understand this is a special treat. Only because you lost your kids. We won’t make it a regular thing.”
Adeline chuckles.
__________
Celebrations for the kitten’s return include early-morning wake-ups and text messages to favourite neighbours, plus of course the opening of a can of tuna. But when Tarek comes, kitten in arms, to announce to Katsup the happy news, she starts spitting in her little one’s face.
In a fraction of a second, Moustache is back to his/her melancholy air, the expression of having all the misfortunes of the world on his little kitten’s back.
“She doesn’t recognise her own kitten anymore. This often happens.”
Then, after a silence and turning her face to Chloé and smiling to her, Adeline adds:
“This will never happen to us, my little angel!”
Chloé smiles in return.
“Katsup, Tarek tries pedagogically, it’s only been a week; make an effort and try to…”
“Sssss! Ffft!”
Moustache remains silent, his eyes and lids sinking in sorrow. That night, Tarek gives the kitten a cautious bath, monitored by his veterinarian friend. During the whole operation, Moustache doesn’t move or make a sound.
“Poor guy. I think I’ll let him sleep next to me tonight.”
“Yes, Chloé, I promise you: If Daddy continues to take care of the kittens more than he does of you, I’ll find you another daddy, that’s a promise.”
__________
“Pregnant again?! Seriously, Katsup?! You know that anyone else but me would’ve made you abort and had you neutered once and for all?”
“Meow.”
“Yes, you can be ashamed of yourself and…”
Right then, an enormous explosion erupts in the North-West, shattering one of the apartment’s windows, scattering shards of glass all over the living room. Katsup quickly hides under a couch and Tarek takes a deep breath.
In the bathroom, Chloé raises a surprised eyebrow, then bursts into panicked cries.
Adeline looks at the window with a terrified expression on her face.
On the balcony, Moustache and Popeye freeze.